That I am still the same person I was before my tumor, and life can continue on. It's okay to have fun and to enjoy the things that I used to enjoy. I can still do anything that I want to do, just in a different way. One of my friends who visited this week reminded me of this. I am still the same person. Just shorter.
That I am in love with two men at one time. My son who fills each day with so much joy and so many smiles, and my husband who loves me more than anything. The moment Dr. Vossler came in and told me about the tumor I was okay. But when I looked at my husband is when it really became real. The look on his face in that moment was so much worse than the news the doctor had given me. Jared lost it, and it makes me cry every time I think about that moment. The thought that he might lose me was the worst thing in the world to him - oh how I am thankful for this man.
That I have the most wonderful friends and family surrounding me. My friends are willing to do anything and everything for me. They don't treat me any differently because I'm in a wheelchair, and they aren't embarrased to be out in public with me, which is something I certainly worried about in the beginning. To them I am the same person. My friends water my flowers because they know that I love them. They watch Anthony so I don't have to worry about him while I'm being selfish and focusing on myself in physical therapy. They call and email and send cards. They drive me around when I can't drive myself. They laugh with me and cry with me. How did I get so lucky to have these people in my life?
That I have to keep hoping. Hope and faith will guide me until I start walking again. It feels like it's been an eternity since my surgery, but it's only been about three months. It's still so early in the grand scheme of things. Hope, hope, hope.
That worship music can change my entire day, and keep me in a positive attitude no matter what is going on that day.
That God answers my prayers quickly and he knows the cries of my heart.
And that Wes on the Bachelor is a creep - she really needs to get rid of that guy! What is she thinking?
4 comments:
Hope hope hope
Hope hope hope
Pray pray pray
Hope hope hope
Oh wow, this was a tear jerker. I'm glad you mixed it up with the Wes comment because it was good for a laugh. I love you! Keep the hope Beka. You're so strong; if anyone can rise above it's you!
I agree with Colby...why you gotta make me cry on a Friday afternoon?! I am in awe of your strength and optimism. We are here for you if you guys need us. No matter what time of day; no matter what you need. I hope you know that.
You are hilarious, and passionate about all things in your life! I love you and your faith and your boys as well. ~Kari
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