Never Give Up

It can certainly be frustrating as weeks and months go on and I feel like I'm seeing no significant progress. There have been little things, but those don't really directly relate to me walking again so it's hard for me to "count" them.

The last couple of sessions at PB I've been practicing standing in the parallel bars. It's pretty amazing, but I can actually stand in the bars without touching the bars or anyone holding on to me. I'm able to balance myself on my legs to stand straight which feels great. I like standing without braces all over my body or someone holding me up. My legs still spasm, so I have to be ready to grab the bars at any moment, because when they do spasm they'll just kick out from under me.

When I went to the U today to practice using my RGO's I mentioned to my PT that I'd been standing. She was shocked, and said that I must have more function back than they realize but my spasms are hiding it. My muscle spasms are very strong, and it's often hard to tell if I'm creating the movement or if it's involuntary.

I also love seeing myself standing for pure vanity. It's hard to remember how thin I am in this wheelchair, because I barely fit through most doors. That and the fact that I had a c-section and since then my ab muscles are paralyzed making them all saggy - makes for a great self image!

The standing is quite exciting and I'm looking forward to discovering more "hidden" function that I have. I just know I'll be up and walking any day now and I am excited! So full of hope for the future that is to come. I can only imagine that everything in life will seem easy after this nightmare - can't imagine much that would be worse!