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Sunday, September 20, 2009

6 Months

Well I haven't been blogging much lately because I don't have anything inspiring to say. You would think that this would get easier as the days go on, but it's exactly the opposite. Sure, physically things are easier. I'm able to do much more now than I could 6 months ago. If you visited me in the hospital and see me now, you definitely know that physically I have improved greatly. But emotionally it's so much harder. The milestones for Anthony are bittersweet. He turned 6 months yesterday, and that means that I've been sitting in this stupid wheelchair for 6 months. Not exactly how I pictured the first 6 months of motherhood would be. And sometimes I feel like people really don't get it. It's hard enough to be a new mom, and trying being paralyzed in a wheelchair. This is hard. I know I will walk again soon, but I certainly hate waiting. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for all of the blessings in my life. But so confused and frustrated by this situation, trying to figure out why this had to happen to me. I am really looking forward to the day when we can all celebrate because I'm walking again! And until then I will try my best to stay positive, but each day I feel I'm growing more weary on this journey.

5 comments:

bob said...

I hope you can feel our hugs, and know that we are praying for you.

Bob & Jane

The Ames Family said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry! I've said from the beginning I don't know HOW you do it! It's ok to feel sad and frustrated. We all do and we don't have even close to the reasons you do. Keep your head held high! You are an AMAZING woman and mother!!! We admire everything your whole family has been through and I know it will be over soon. God has much bigger plans for you than this :) LOVE YOU LOTS!!!!

e said...

Hang in there, Beka! You have had huge changes in your life, and it is only natural to feel frustration and grief. I think it's great that you are having return of function. I am sure that your motivation and hard work have alot to do with your progress. Keep up the great work at raising your beautiful baby and re-training your body to walk!

LJ said...

We sing a song in church that reminds me of you.

"We will run and not grow weary
For our God will be our strength
And we will fly like the eagle
We will rise again."

Matt said...

We're always thinking of you guys and inspired by how you've handled this extremely difficult time with determination and a sense of humor. We know things will continue to get better for you!

-Matt & Tonja